Sunday, October 18, 2009

Blame Game

One of my Facebook friends posted a link to a video a few days ago entitled "RIP Black America2." Here's the link:

Not too many things stump me, but this was one of those rare occasions in my life that I wasn't really sure what to think. In some portions of the video, I agreed with the narrator wholeheartedly; in others I wanted to find the guy and slap him silly for making such general statements.

First quote that I need to speak on: "It is impossible to get a Black woman to accept responsibility......for anything!" Really? And have you met all of the Black women in the world to know this for a fact? I don't even have to know all the Black women in the world, but I can use myself as an example and (contrary to what some say) I am responsible. I get up every day Monday-Friday and drag myself to a job that I don't even really care for because I know it is what is going to pay my bills, keep gas in my car, and food in my belly. I have never depended on a "sugar daddy" or anyone else to take care of my responsibilities for me, and I don't plan to start any time soon. (Even though times are tough right now lol.) I have never been pregnant, never been in an abusive relationship, and I don't go for the "bad boys" that treat me like shit because I value myself more than that.

As for Black women being "indecisive, bitchy," and "petty as hell," well, I've had my days where I've been all three and then some, but haven't we all? And don't tell me that Black women are the only ones that suffer from the occasional bout of pettiness. I have lived in environments that allowed me to interact with people of all different racial backgrounds and I dealt with some very indecisive, bitchy, petty shit, and those women weren't Black!

Then to say that White women "don't have a problem" finding a good man? Come on son. Just because the stats show that more White women than Black are married does not mean that they have found a "good man." I literally LOL'd when he said that "almost without exception" when a White woman gets into a relationship with a Black man, he isn't on drugs, respects her, is accomplished and loyal, and they wait until AFTER they marry to have children. Ummm.......sweetheart do you not watch Maury? Jerry Springer? Cable television of any sort? Do you ever leave your house?! These shows are filled with interracial couples giving the same "I don't know which one is my baby's daddy" or "I want a lie detector test to see if he's cheating even though I found used condoms in his backseat" drama that Black couples have. Growing up in my old neighborhood, I lived right across the street from a (White) woman that had a bi-racial daughter and had never married the father. And I have lost count of how many times I have been to the mall, grocery store, etc., seen a brother with a White girl, and thanked God that she "took" that man from Black women because I could tell from their interaction that he was no good.

Now I did agree with him on the analysis of Black women having "anchor babies" in order to keep Black men around that don't want them. This seems to be an ongoing trend in our community and it saddens me to see young girls having babies so freely just to keep a man, not realizing that if he didn't want you before you got pregnant, he won't want you now. On the same token, can we not say that White women have done the same thing in attempts to "keep" their men as well?

I won't even comment on his theory about why no Black women have won the presidency....................

I also agree when he says that sexed-up images like Beyonce are what Black women have been left to aspire to be like, and I touched on that in my first post "This Bullsh** is Getting out of Hand!" It's a shame that our race is being "dumbed down" to the point where a woman's biggest value is in her derriere. But I feel that this man did the same finger-pointing that he accuses Black women of doing. To say that the home and family are her responsibilities and if they fail, she is solely the one to blame? That doesn't fly with me. In the words of my mom and other old-school folks, "It takes two to tango." If kids are not raised right and grow up to be menaces to society, it's not just their mom's fault. It's on Dad too. Yes, it is wrong to try to "trap" a man with a baby, but should he be having unprotected sex (or sex at all) with a woman that he knows he doesn't want to be in a relationship or start a family with? I feel that as a race, we will never come up with any solution because we are constantly going around in circles of "You're the one to blame; no, YOU'RE the one to blame." If everyone would put their pride to the side and admit that Black men AND women have had a part in why our community is in its current state, maybe we could get somewhere.


Freckles said...

everyone wants their 5 minutes of fame. I saw it posted on fb as well but would not give it any service by reposting it at all. there were some good points but the did not have supporting attributes and then it sounded just like a scorned man trying to get some to co-sign his BS about Black women. espcially since these wer enot black woman issues oppose to just being a woman issue. It always amazes me when a man makes a statement against and doesnt see where he may be part of the problem. It is often easy to point the finger and not look at self.

UglyCleanBroke87 said...

Yeah, dude definitely had (has) some issues. I just thought it was interesting and had to get my thoughts out about it, because what I wrote would have been way too much to be posting as a reply on Facebook! Lol