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Saturday, January 9, 2010

MAYBE I'm Overreacting. Maybe.

As anyone that knows me can attest, I have many pet peeves. When I moved to Atlanta, I discovered a new one, and that is: people who suggest that we hang out/kick it, then expect ME to make all of the plans and/or put all of the effort into going out with them.

A prime example would be what happened just this weekend. A friend of mine had been out of town over the holidays, but we sent a couple messages back and forth over Facebook and she told me that she would be returning this week and suggested that we "get together." I'm always up for going out so it was cool with me. I told her to call or text me when she got here and we could figure out some places to go (the keyword being "we"). She said that maybe we could go out Friday or Saturday night. I work late on Friday nights but I figured Saturday should be fine.

She sent me a text Friday night saying that she didn't think it would be the best night to go out because she didn't think anyone would be "there." I'm not sure exactly where "there" is, but I told her that Fridays are no good for me anyway, so we could just find some place to go on Saturday. She proceeded to say that she is broke right now, so she would prefer to go to a club where we could get in free. I told her I'm broke too, so that was fine with me and that I would try to find some places. Maybe I set myself up for this by offering to do research on a club we could go to, but I don't think I implied that SHE couldn't look for somewhere to go as well. I mean, if we both want to go out, then we should both put in effort to find a spot to go to, right?

Well anyway, I look for some events on Facebook and there really ain't shit popping this weekend from what I can tell. I find a club that says "Capricorns are free all night" but doesn't mention if or how much everyone else has to pay, and some other club that doesn't specify whether or not there is a cover charge. I know how Atlanta clubs (especially the black ones) play games about the pricing of admission, and I'm really not in the mood--or financial position--to be wasting time and gas based on some ambiguous party fliers.

Then she texts me today (Saturday) asking if I found anything. I tell her what I found and ask if she has heard of anything. She says she hasn't, and that she knows we will end up having to pay if we go the first club that I mentioned which she can't afford, and asks if I have been to the other club before. I tell her I haven't, but I heard it was cool. She responds saying that maybe we should wait until we know "for sure" that we will get in free and that maybe we can go somewhere tomorrow, or if I hear of anything else happening tonight to let her know. I'm a little annoyed by now, and rather than respond with a text that will clearly display my annoyance (since I'm not very good at hiding it), I opt to not reply at all.

Okay. So maybe the situation itself is not the problem. Maybe it is just the history that I have had with this person. We had tentatively planned to be roommates last year (along with another friend of hers) when neither of us knew where the hell we would be living, and although it seemed that it would be a team effort in the beginning, I eventually got the feeling that I was the one who would be responsible for all of the apartment hunting. We had a deadline, and she was constantly saying "we need to find a place ASAP," while making excuses that she was cramping up from her period so she couldn't go out to look anywhere and having unrealistic restrictions on the price range of the apartment that we should stay in. She somehow thought that we would be able to find a "nice" three-bedroom apartment in Buckhead for $900. Anyone who lives in Atlanta knows that finding anything in that area within that price range will be more close to a roach-infested crackhouse. Needless to say, we ended up not moving in together, and even though my current housing situation has come with its own issues, I am relieved that I made the decision to stay where I am now.

I also know that when it comes to us going out to party, I am usually the one that has to extend myself financially as well. I call myself trying to be the "cool" person, but I get the feeling that I'm being used and I don't like that. The night usually results in me driving 30+ minutes from my house to pick my friend up (even though she has a car), me providing liquor (which I don't ask to be given money for), me driving to different clubs in the event that our first choice doesn't work out, then dropping her off and driving 30+ minutes back to my house (and usually not receiving any gas money). Some people may say I'm stupid for doing all this, but I hate the people who refuse to do any favors for someone unless they are compensated financially. I don't mind picking people up or buying the drinks, because I remember when I didn't have a car and I was broke, and people picked up the slack for me. But when I feel as if you EXPECT it from me? When you make comments like "I'm broke" or "I don't have gas" as if to say that I have money coming out of my ass? That's when I get an attitude. I don't have any more money than anyone else, but I do what I can with what I have and I don't feel that I should have to be the event planner, chauffeur, bartender, or whatever else just to go out with friends.

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