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Thursday, March 11, 2010

Blah.

Another dreary day in a dreary city. Wasted $8 on parking and a 1/4 gas to go downtown and hear some shit that I already knew. Why can't people just tell you shit over the phone?

I have come to a conclusion: being nice and doing the "right thing" in life apparently gets you nowhere. Being conniving and knowing how to work the system will keep you on top of things. I thought I was so smart, but over the past few weeks I am slowly learning that I am younger and dumber than I care to admit.

I'm no angel, and I have done my share of wrongdoing, but for the most part, I consider myself to (generally) be a good person. I don't bother people, I rarely talk when I'm around strangers, I don't stir up drama just for the hell of it. Yet I make one slight misstep and it has now cost me my job and quite possibly, my sanity. Then I look around at snaky bitches who slither around their jobs, homes, and friends, gossiping and starting shit simply to keep themselves entertained...and they're doing fine. Not because what they're doing is right, but because it's not illegal.

So this is what life has come to? Do whatever the fuck you want, ruin other people's lives if you want, but just don't break any laws? That literally makes me sick. That and the taste of this too-damn-sweet sweet tea. I don't even know what to say or do. I feel trapped, like a rat in a maze, with snotty-nosed five-year-olds laughing and pointing at me. The rest of the world has moved on but I'm still stuck. My mom keeps saying, "You're young, this isn't the end for you" but that's not comforting whatsoever. Nothing is comforting. I am un-comfortable.

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