Tuesday, April 13, 2010

One of Those Days.

I wish people would speak up if they have a problem with something you have said/done. Nothing irks me more than grown people who play the "I'm not going to say anything if you don't" game. I am the master of silent treatment, and I will gladly ignore you until you say what's on your mind.

This is one reason why I don't feel bad about up and leaving Atlanta. I'm not trying to blame anyone, but I am a believer that your environment can affect how you think and act, and I certainly feel that my behavior/attitude on life has changed since moving into my current residence (and not necessarily for the better). Now I am the proverbial monster that has been created as a result, and everyone is looking at me like I'M the bad one. Fuck that. How is it that everyone around me can be bitchy, spoiled, catty, immature, etc. but as soon as I exhibit these characteristics, I get the sense that it is being held against me?

I don't understand people. No one in my house communicates to one another....or at least, they don't communicate to me. Instead I am left to make up my own assumptions, and in the event that I DO say something, I get the passive-aggressive response of: "Oh, I thought YOU were mad at ME???" I don't have time for the bullshit. I need to get out of here before I explode. I'll let the insecure and miserable destroy each other. I've been destroyed enough.


Freckles said...

there comes a point wher eyou must take care of self. So do you. Why not? If you dont make you happy no one else will. Are you really leaving Atlanta?

UglyCleanBroke87 said...

That's true....I think this was one of my biggest struggles while living on my own. As much as I claim to "not give a fuck," I somehow end up absorbing other people's issues/insecurities and internalizing them as my own. Not healthy I know, but it's a hard habit to break.

And yes, I plan on leaving if I haven't found a job by the end of this month. I have two possible job opportunities that say they will get back to me in 1-2 weeks but if those fall through I can't afford to stay any longer.