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Monday, April 26, 2010

P.S.

I really wish I would have stayed my ass in school. :( I know it sounds dorky and ridiculous but I miss writing papers and pretending to read those expensive ass textbooks and never saying a word in class but going home to debate the topics with my mom. I miss procrastinating on a project until the night before it's due and staying up until 7 in the morning to finish it. I think school gave me some sense of structure in my life. Now that I'm just kind of hanging out it's like: What is my purpose? Am I supposed to job hop and live paycheck-to-paycheck for the next ten, fifteen, twenty years hoping that a decent-paying job (that I enjoy) will fall from the sky?

I know there are success stories from all sides of the spectrum, but I feel like life essentially works out in one of two ways: you can start from the bottom of the totem pole at some company and spend years busting your ass to work your way up, or you can get an education. Actually there's a third option: you can do neither and die a miserable, unfulfilled life. I feel like I'm slowly inching my way towards option #3 and that frightens me more than I can explain. The collectors from Chase and Sallie Mae could have a hand in my fear as well. I don't even know exactly what I want to pursue as a career, but whatever it is damn sure has nothing to do with what I'm doing at the moment. I hate wasting my time on bullshit.

It's time to get serious. Thinking of a master plan.....to be continued......

1 comment:

SinfulLyo said...

def reminds me of don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood lmao. i guess that's how his women get down...or maybe it was the only thing that rhymed to him.