Friday, May 7, 2010

"Do You Cook?"

Why is this the #1 question that guys ask? I don't care if you've been talking to them for two months or two seconds, it always seems to come up somehow. Maybe I'm being too sensitive, but this question irks the hell out of me.

First of all......nigga do YOU cook? Just because I have a menstrual cycle does not mean that I am going to be the black Rachael Ray by default. That's like me assuming that just because you have a penis that you have a job.....because half the time that ain't the case. Yeah, I said it.

Second, even if I am a beast in the kitchen, why do these dudes assume that I am ready and waiting to slave over a hot stove for them? Call me old-fashioned, but throwing down on some food is something you do for your man, not just a random nigga that texts you every couple weeks when he's bored. These are the same ones that would look at you like you're insane if you even ask them to take you out to a movie. "You ain't my girl!" is what they would think and/or say, depending on how bold they are. But how can you expect relationship-like privileges from me (i.e., cooking for you) and you don't want me to reap any relationship-like benefits from you? I'm assuming (because I'm not a man) that he is thinking a woman has to EARN the privilege of being taken out to dinner, movies, etc. In the same way, I feel a man has to EARN the privilege of me putting the time and effort into making a meal for him.

I don't just seems to me like there are way too many double standards in the dating game to keep track of. On one hand, guys seem to want a lady who does the traditional cooking, cleaning, and catering to her man, and at the same time they want a non-traditional independent woman that works a 9-5, has her own separate stash of money, and never asks her man for anything. I don't mind being independent at all, and I never expect any handouts from a man, but if I'm working all the time just like a man, how does he then still want me to act like a traditional housewife? It's the proverbial case of "having your cake and eating it too." Basically some of these guys want a damn Renaissance woman or Superwoman when they're nowhere near Superman.


Yakitori said...

Yeah, I have to say I agree and have noticed this. You can't want a woman's "support" and then not support her in turn. One or the other. Personally, I have no problem being a housewife because I like cooking, but I'm not going to have things demanded of me. This ain't the 1950's. It's called teamwork. Cool thing about my ex was that even if he was a douche nozzle, he could throw down in the kitchen, lol.

khaki la'docker said...

its crazy because dudes ask me that and im proud when I can say that i do cook. Now, i dont cook for every dude that calls me but... still, i like to be able to cook for my man.

UglyCleanBroke87 said...

@Yakitori lmao @ "douche nozzle." And I totally agree with you on the teamwork thing.

@khaki yeah I don't mind if it's someone that I am getting to know and we are attempting to be more than friends or whatever. I just get a little salty when it's a mere acquaintance of mine asking me to cook a meal for him.

call her Gwen said...


thanks for following, you are SO appreciated <3

Anonymous said...

Ha ha! Love it.