Thursday, May 27, 2010

What's This "Knowing Your Place" Business?

Since I began blogging, I like to browse through different blogs and read up on other people's views about politics, celebrities, and life in general. Having said that, I don't always agree, or "co-sign," with the views that I read up on. A blog that I stumbled upon today would be one of those instances. I won't say whose blog it was, because my intention is not to start any online beef, or put anybody on blast. I just thought I would get my thoughts out regarding the issue.

This particular blog topic was dealing with a female who discovered that her boyfriend's ex was hitting him up and revealing that she still had feelings for him. The ex was pouring her heart out, saying that she would always love him even though he had moved on and found someone else and had a baby, blah, blah, blah. She said she knew what she was saying wouldn't change anything, but she just felt that it had to be said.

Then the blogger goes on to talk about how she can't stand "sideline chicks" and that SHE has "only" been a sideline chick once in her life. She claims that she "knew her place" when she was messing around with someone else's man and that she never proclaimed her love for that man or said or did anything else that could potentially jeopardize his relationship with his woman.

In other words, this woman seemed to have no issue with her man keeping in contact with his ex; she only had problems with the fact that the other woman "didn't know her place." She claimed that the new breed of "sideline bitches" have no respect for the men that they are going after and disregard the feelings of the wives and children of the men that they are involved with. This isn't the first time I've heard women complain about another woman "not knowing her place" or "playing her position." It has never made sense to me before, and it doesn't make sense to me now. You mean to tell me it's cool to sleep with another woman's husband/boyfriend, as long as you don't tell him you love him, or otherwise attempt to keep your feelings out of it? How about not sleeping with him in the first place? I'm not trying to sound holier-than-thou, but in my opinion, I don't care how detached or discreet you try to be when having an affair, wrong is wrong. If I knew of my man cheating on me with another female, I would feel disrespected, whether she was the type that never showed her face, or if she preferred to show up to my house uninvited.

Then there's the omission of the role that the man plays in this whole ordeal. Grrr. That irks me more than anything. No matter how many Lifetime movies or Maury episodes I watch, I cannot for the life of me understand how women will happily pit themselves against each other while the man that they have been sharing looks on, not lifting a finger to dissolve the mess that he helped create. All forms of communication, whether it be Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Skype, AIM, BBM, text messaging, phone calls, whatever, go both ways. A female can't keep in contact with a man unless he wants her to. There's nothing worse than a grown man acting oblivious to a woman wanting to be more than friends (especially if he has had a previous romantic relationship with her).

I think this misguided idea of what constitutes disrespect in a "sideline chick" situation is the reason why these "love" (or lust) triangles will always be around. There will always be the "main chick" pointing the finger at the wrong person for the wrong reason, and there will always be the "sideline chick" who thinks that as long as she plays her position and stays in the background, she's being respectful. And of course, there will always be the man, who will never have anyone around to tell him about himself. What to do, people, what to do?


☻TABOO♥ said...

I AGREE WITH YOU TOTALLY!! I think it is ridiculous that women feel it is okay to play the role of sideline chick. I think it is completely disrespectful for someone to go after or be with someone who is involved. I have a coworker who has been with a married man for 10+ years. She claims to be in love with him. SMH However, she says shes would NEVER step to his wife or make her relationship with him known out of "RESPECT" for his marriage. I let her know that her actions contradict her so-called respect.

UglyCleanBroke87 said...

Thanks girl...I think someone needs to write a post on this topic lol :)