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Monday, May 3, 2010

Where's a Knife When You Need It?

Where to start......oh yeah. So I had my gate key stolen the night of my birthday right......even though it would seem that a gate key is the least significant thing to be stolen, I knew it would be the biggest pain in the ass considering that the gate key issue has been a major source of drama where I live. Back when we first moved into the house, everyone had access to the gate.....except for me. My roommates work late nights so they use that as an excuse to sleep until 4pm every day, and I had to deal with the annoyance of sitting outside of the gate on several occasions because my roommate would never answer the code to open the gate. After months of dealing with this, I finally approached my roommate and asked him what could be done to fix the situation. He said he would talk to the landlord about it, and reported back to me that she said a new gate key would be $25. I got a money order the next week, got my key soon after, and was drama-free for the next couple months.

Fast-forward to now. Since I'm not working at the same job, I'm free to roam among the living during the daytime. On the days that I had to go out early, I sent a message to my roommate to ask if I could borrow his gate key. When I was done with it, I promptly gave it back to him. One day, I came home and got a random text from him saying that he had left the gate key on the counter for me. He didn't specify that he would need it back or anything. Cool. I was using it, not really giving it any thought, but I could feel weird vibes from him whenever I came in and out of the house like he was upset about something but didn't say it. I couldn't figure out what it was, then one day he knocked on my door and asked for his key back so he could pick up his cat from the groomer. Then the light bulb went off. Was that why he had been acting funny before? Knowing how petty he is, probably so. I hadn't intentionally kept the key; the thought had never crossed my mind that he wanted it back because he didn't really say anything one way or another. I gave it back and later, he mentioned something to me about how he didn't mind sharing the key, and suggested I put the key on the counter when I was done with it. I didn't have a problem with that.

Then I started working at this temp job last week, and the training was on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday from 8:30am to 5pm. My roommates leave for work at 5, so there was no way I would be able to "leave the gate key out" for them. I ran some other errands Thursday and Friday so I wasn't at home before they left for work either. This is when the bullshit starts. I get a notification on my phone from Facebook. It's a wall post from my roommate saying he'll need the gate key next week because he has "appointments and food shopping et cetera et cetera before work." I roll my eyes and can't help but be annoyed at his choice of words; as if he's the only one that has "appointments" next week. And why is he writing on my wall on Facebook? Why not text/call me, or better yet, say something to my face when we're both at the house? I'm trying to stay in a good mood though, so rather than snap back with a bitchy reply, I decide to fuck with him. I respond saying that I thought he already had the gate key, and that the security guard in our subdivision has been letting me in. He replies saying he hasn't seen the gate key "for weeks now." Now I know he's full of shit. I've only had the gate key in my possession consistently for the past week.

Then we go out Saturday night. I finally reveal to him that I was pranking him about the gate key. He sort of laughs it off like it's whatever. Sunday night, I'm in bed and my roommates are downstairs when I get another Facebook notification. It's yet another wall post from my roommate (who is only about twenty feet away from me in the house) saying he has to go out tomorrow and I "need" to leave the gate key on the counter. I go downstairs and ask what time he has to be out tomorrow because I have an interview at 12pm. He says he has to be out at 1. I tell him I don't know if I'll be back by 1, so how is that going to work out? His response: "It doesn't matter; you need to leave the gate key out. It's MY key."

That sets me off. What the fuck do you mean, it doesn't matter? I'm supposed to sit my ass outside the gate after coming back from my interview so YOU won't be inconvenienced?
Apparently that's exactly what he means, as he says it's "not his problem" that I "lost" my gate key and adds that it's my responsibility to find a way to get in. I find this ironic, especially since a while ago, my other roommate actually did lose her gate key and he let her use his without giving her any grief about giving it back to him. I also never heard of her having to own up and be "responsible" for finding a way to get inside.

Then he uses his best authoritative voice and says the gate key needs to be in the tray by tomorrow. I tell him he's nobody's daddy in this house and that he can fuck off. We go back and forth about some other bullshit for a moment, most of the argument consisting of him saying that he was trying to be "nice" by letting me use his key and that I am taking advantage of his kindness and essentially stealing the key. Yes, because the #1 thing on a thief's list of things to steal is a gate key. Never mind that silly little Mac that he leaves out all the time that could easily be taken while he's at work. Oh no. He says he didn't find the joke about me not having the key funny (surprise), but that doesn't really matter to me because I found it hilarious and the fact that he's not amused tickles me even more.

I suppose that really sets him off because he gets the bright idea to run upstairs to my room and search for the gate key himself. I take off after him and tell him to get the fuck out. I pay rent here, and I'll be damned if his crazy ass tries to play security guard up in this bitch like he runs shit. Then......this motherfucker. Puts his fucking hands on me. Trying to push his way past me to get into MY room. Where they do that at? I tell him to get his hands off me and take his ass out of my room. My other roommate comes out of her room to see what the commotion is. He tells her I'm being a bitch. I tell him to fuck off again and slam the door in his face. I call my parents' house to tell them that I think I'm about to go to jail for murder. I'm telling my dad what happened when I hear my roommate downstairs still talking shit.

I come out of my room to curse him out some more. He's still yelling out how "ungrateful" and "spoiled" I am and says this is my last "break" from him. I tell him he hasn't given me any breaks and he replies that I wouldn't be where I am if it weren't for him. Really now? And where exactly am I, I would like to know? I thank him for helping me get a job that I got fired from. He says that's because I was too "stupid" to fight for my job. I tell him he's just a clueless white man and doesn't realize that the people at that company didn't give a fuck about my black ass, no matter how much I fought. Then he goes on a rant about all he did for me when I was broke and car-less at Clark Atlanta and he picked me up and bought food for me. I tell him that's exactly why I haven't asked him for shit since then because I don't need it thrown up in my face.

Finally, my other roommate, who has been calmly playing his video game the whole time, speaks up and says that I should just pay $25 for the key that I already have. I didn't have a problem paying $25 since I paid for my last gate key, but I didn't even know if I would be staying in Atlanta so why would I pay for another key if I wasn't staying? They seem to think that's the solution to the problem, and I'm done at this point so I go back inside my room.

Then I start thinking about it. Why the fuck should I stay somewhere where my roommate will physically fight me over a gate key? It's not like I sacrificed his cat in a Satanic ritual. I have to remember that this is the same motherfucker who wrote a long Facebook message to the entire household because we were (or I was) putting water bottles on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator that was "reserved" for his water. Pause. Someone obviously has serious entitlement issues, along with other issues that I'm not equipped to deal with. Go see a therapist sweetheart.

Damn. Motherfuckers always want to start shit AFTER I pay rent for the month.

3 comments:

NC17 said...

your roommate is a douche bag

UglyCleanBroke87 said...

I agree.

Yakitori said...

...and this is why no matter how much it's going to cost, I'm living by my damn self because other people always want to play these stupid "games". Fuck the drama over petty junk.