Monday, June 28, 2010

My Two Cents.

I've read quite a few blog posts on people's thoughts of this year's BET Awards, and the general consensus seems to be that it was much more dignified than last year's awards show. I didn't watch the awards last year, so I really can't make a comparison, but my review will be based on this year's show itself, as well as the BET awards shows I have watched in years past.

Since I have a reputation for being a "Debbie Downer" or "Negative Nancy," I will start with the positives. First off, Nia Long looked absolutely gorgeous! She's another one to add to the "girl crush" list. How old is she? Eh, it doesn't even matter. I know she's been in the entertainment industry for a minute, and she's still shitting on girls half her age. She and Stacey Dash must be sipping on the same youth serum.

Next: Prince. I did not realize how much I loved Prince until I saw him at the 2010 BET Awards. His facial expressions during his tribute were priceless. Can't say that I blame him though. I love me some Janelle Monae, but for some reason she just wasn't doing it for me in her performance. I'm glad to see that BET gave her some shine; it would have been nice to see her perform her OWN music though. She seemed like she was trying too hard to get Prince's approval. *Shrugs*

Now onto my not
-so-favorite parts of the night. One thing I've noticed about BET that seems like it will never change is their ass-backwardness in doing things. Never have I seen a television network that can be so stuffy, yet so tacky at the same time. "Boughetto" is the term, I think. Take for instance, the notorious "ban" that BET put on R&B singer Ciara's video "Ride." No one quite knows the true reason behind why the video has been banned, not even Ciara herself, but basically I think the notion is that her video is too "racy" for daytime (or anytime) viewing. Never mind all those borderline-XXX videos that BET airs on a daily basis. Yet BET invites Ciara to be a presenter, wearing what can best be described as a red leather tube top. I didn't see anything wrong with what she was wearing, but then again I didn't have a problem with her music video either. Perhaps the message is: "You can wear skimpy clothing, as long as you don't ride a mechanical bull while doing so"? Things that make you go hmmm.......

Then there was the almost
-kiss between Nia Long and Larenz Tate. Somehow, BET's producers thought that viewers would much rather see Rocsi and Terrence J swap spit. Excuse me while I dry heave. If I could be a sniper for just one day......okay, let me stop. I guess I should give BET kudos for accomplishing the amazing feat of pairing two of the world's most annoying people together, and shoving them in our faces Monday-Friday.

Of course, the highlight of the night was Mr. Breezy himself in the much-anticipated MJ tribute. I have to give him props. The boy can dance his ass off. He also provided me a lifetime of laughter with this photo. HOWEVER, just like everything else, black people always have a way of blowing shit waaaayyyyy out of proportion. If I didn't know any better, I would think CB's performance was the second coming of Christ. Suddenly everyone has a story of how they cried along with him and that they now "officially forgive" him. You mean to tell me that the American public has scrutinized, ridiculed, taunted, and practically crucified Chris Brown for the past year-and-a-half, and all he had to do was moonwalk to get approval from you niggas? If I'm not mistaken, he's done MJ tributes before, but he had to actually perform at an awards show in order for people to realize he's talented? Like nearly every situation involving Chris Brown since the "incident," I don't have a problem with him; I have a problem with the "Team Breezy" stans and bandwagon-hoppers who hype up every single thing that he does, whether good or bad.

Moving on.

Other notables:

For the love of all things good and holy, can BET please get better microphones/sound systems for the performances? I had to turn my TV up to the highest volume and it still sounded like they were whispering.

Did anyone else notice the smedium red sweater T.I. wore during that bit with Queen Latifah? I tried to Google it, but no luck finding any pics.

Why did little Willow (Jada and Will's daughter) look like the latest pre-pubescent androgynous member of the Black Eyed Peas? I understand letting your kids express themselves and all, but come on.

Did I miss the memo that "Dirty Money" has now become "Diddy Dirty Money"? Am I the only one who still doesn't know the name of the girl who is not an ex-Danity Kane member?

Why is Chaka Khan at the awards EVERY DAMN YEAR?

I'm done. Until next year.

Photos courtesy of:

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Can't Get Enough.

I was on a couple days ago, and the post of the day was girl crushes. I added my list in the comment box, but I can't believe I forgot to mention Ms. Solange. I don't know about anyone else, but in my opinion, she is slowly but surely inching her way into the "bad bitch" category. I mean......that dress......and those shoes......and the 'fro! Looking like a 21st century Christie Love and shit.

I'm seriously about to start doing some research on the proper way to grow out an Afro. Either that or find me a bomb-ass wig.



-- Personality Disorder Test --
-- Personality Disorder Information --

These are the results of a personality disorder test I took. (Don't ask why.) It confirms what I pretty much already knew. Does that mean I need to see a therapist?

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


Have you ever been so bored that you want to shoot yourself in the face? neither. Just asking. This is my first blog via phone. I'll post more later.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Hoodrat-ism of the Day + Other Randoms.

The following is a summary of the dialogue I had the pleasure of hearing early this Monday morning:

Trainer: Anyone do anything interesting last weekend?

Hoodrat #1: Naw, I ain't really do nothing. I just watched True Blood. OMG I love that show!

Another classmate/trainee: What channel is that on?

Hoodrat #1: It ain't on regular cable. You gotta prescribe to HBO, and they got like 500 other channels to go with it.

Sigh. I'll leave it at that.

In other news, I miss Atlanta. Just a little bit. I didn't think I would, but then again, I never think I'm going to miss a place at the time I leave; I suppose because I always leave on the shittiest of terms. I guess I can't stop wondering why things couldn't have worked out for me while I was down there. Is there someone up in the big blue unknown that didn't want me to succeed on my own? I don't get it.

I am stressed as hell waiting for my first paycheck. I have 11 more days of waiting, but I need it like yesterday.

I realize that I haven't consumed any alcoholic substances in over a month. Hearing my co-workers talk about how drunk they got over the weekend is making me crave it a little. Is that an alcoholic thing to say? Probably.

I am also having withdrawals from shopping. I *need* a pair of shoes, a dress, a belt, a pair of earrings, something.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Hoodrat-isms 101.

I usually don't start hating a job until I've been on it for at least 2-3 months. I think I've broken my record though, as I completed my first week of training today and I have already contemplated packing my things and throwing up the deuces to my new gig. Actually, it's never the JOB itself that I hate, it's the people I am forced to interact with AT the job that make me want to run into oncoming traffic. I understand that people come from different backgrounds and everyone has different personalities, but my tolerance for some personalities is getting lower by the day.

There are 15 people in my training class and we will spend all of our time together Monday-Friday from 7am to 3pm for not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR weeks of training. Technically, it's six weeks, if you include the "transitional training." Yeah, I don't get it either. We are training to be call center reps, which isn't exactly brain surgery, but I suppose they want to be thorough. Either or, I'm getting paid for it, which is not the bad part. The bad part is that I don't understand how some of the people in the class even got the job in the first place. When I went to the job fair, there was an assessment and typing test required as part of the hiring process. I type all the time so that part was easy for me, but the assessment had me frustrated as hell. There was a portion of it that included number sequences, and they weren't normal ones like: "2, 4, 6, 8, 10.....what is the next number in the sequence?" It was more like: "6, 18, 3, 10, 49......what is the next number in the sequence?" I found out that I was about 6 points from passing the assessment and was told that I could re-take it after 90 days. Oddly enough, the next day, a recruiter contacted me to take the assessment AGAIN. This time I passed it, and went through the subsequent steps to get hired. Go figure.

Maybe that's what happened to the other people in my class as well. Anyway, as with any large group of people, there are always the ones that crave being the center of attention. In this particular environment, the simpletons that have designated themselves as the "in crowd" in training are the two hoodrats, who from this point forward will be affectionately referred to as Hoodrat #1 and Hoodrat #2. I try to refrain from using that word, but with the weave-wearing, loud talking, attention-whoring, and Ebonics speaking, it's the only fitting term I can think of. Throughout my 23 years, I have grown weary of black females that present themselves in such a manner with complete disregard for when and where their behavior is appropriate. For the past five days I have gritted my teeth in annoyance while they interrupted other people that were speaking during presentations, including the trainer, texted after we were repeatedly told to keep our phones OFF during training, harmonized with each other on Drake lyrics, and randomly burst into fits of laughter at one another's jokes during Powerpoint slides.

Then there's the language. Oh, the language. No, I'm not speaking about profanity. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I am a proud card-carrying member of the Grammar Task Force. Do Task Force members carry cards? Whatever. I'm a stickler when it comes to speaking, and writing, proper English. I have thought about majoring in English but I have no desire to spend whole semesters dissecting Shakespearean literature. With that being said, I have mentally been pulling out my red pen and marking every incorrect word and double negative that comes out of the Hoodrat Twins' mouths. And there have been plenty. Here are just a few:

  • During a group activity, Hoodrat #2 revealed that she had been shot in the leg while playing Double-Dutch in her neighborhood as a child. No, I am not making this up. When the curious Caucasians in our class inquired about whether it hurt or not, she excitedly replied, "Naw, it didn't really hurt 'cuz I ain't feel it til my friends told me I was bleeding. It just stinged."
  • Part of our job is to type notes on the account of the customer that we assist on the phone. There is only room for 50 characters within the box provided for typing notes. Hoodrat #1 was confused about this for some reason and began her question with: "Okay, so what if we need to type more characteristics?"
  • Hoodrat #2 volunteered to read a Powerpoint slide in class, and pronounced "jargon" as some sort of hybrid of "dragon" and "Juwan."
  • I lost count of how many times they began a question/statement with: "Is we s'posed to......?" or "We was going....." or "You is....." or "She don't got none....."
  • In ANOTHER team activity, we were to pretend that we had a lemonade stand and create a poster advertising what kind of lemonade we served, prices, etc. Hoodrat #1's team included liquor in their beverages, and she asked everyone in the room how to spell "tequila," "Patron," and "Ciroq," among other alcohol brands/types. Someone that doesn't drink might get a pass on this, but then she went on to talk about how "gone she be" at the club off that Patron. If you drink it, you should know how to spell it. That's my motto.
That's all I have for now. I'm sure there will be much more colorful grammar to analyze in the upcoming weeks.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Second Thoughts.

I've been holding off on writing this post, I suppose because I'm really not sure how I feel about it. I'll start with the good news.....I enlisted in the Navy this past Friday.

The not-so-good news is that I feel like I was somewhat misguided in how to go about choosing a job (or rating, as the Navy calls it). Before I went to MEPS last week, the recruiter gave some last-minute advice to me and another young woman that was going to be processed. Among other things, he told us that oftentimes, Navy hopefuls go into MEPS with their minds and hearts set on one rating in particular. He told us that once we were done completing our physical and medical exams, we would meet with a counselor to discuss what rating we would enlist in. He cautioned us to go in with an "open mind," and even if we were offered something that we didn't want, take it. He claimed that there was always the possibility of choosing another rating that might become available while we were waiting to ship out to basic training.

So I go to MEPS. Take the ASVAB later that evening. Go to the hotel and get some dinner. Wake up at 4am. Blah. I go through all the paperwork and exams required to complete the process (no Pap smear, thank God). Since there are dozens of other people being processed at the same time, there's a lot of waiting and running back and forth as different staff members hand me my folder and tell me to "go see so-and-so." I'm finally done with all of that and the moment I've been waiting for is here. It's time to meet with a Navy liaison and decide my fate. I'm excited because my AFQT score on the ASVAB was 74, and my recruiter mentioned that any score above a 50 would qualify me for "damn near any job." I follow the liaison back to his cubicle, anticipating at least 3 or 4 ratings that I will be able to choose from. My dream job would be a Mass Communications Specialist position.

Imagine my face when I sit down and the liaison puts ONE sheet of paper in front of me. I skim the top of the page and read the words "Electricians' Mate," or "EM." Okay. I continue to read the job description and the major job responsibilities consist of working with electrical circuits. I don't get much further than that, because the rest of it may as well be written in Mandarin. I don't even know how this rating matches up with me and my qualifications, and that's exactly what I tell the liaison. He seems to find my disappointment amusing, and laughs off my concerns that this rating has nothing to do with me and my career goals. He feeds me the same line, that I can always change my rating, since the ship out date for the EM is not until March 29, 2011. He asks what other ratings I would be interested in, and I mention the Mass Communications Specialist. He informs me that that rating is 100% filled. I list off a few others, including Intelligence Specialist (IS) and Logistics Supply (LS). He says that an IS rating requires a credit check, which I was aware of beforehand, but I know I won't qualify if they check my credit right at this moment.

I keep staring at that piece of paper, thinking that I can somehow will it to change to something that I won't mind doing for the next 5 years of my life. Nope, it's still there. I'm pissed now. I can't believe I just spent my whole day here....for this. Then the liaison starts in with a speech about how the EM rating is not that bad, that I could always start my own business as an electrician when I get out, and that I can even switch ratings once I'm in the Navy. He tells me that just like a lot of things in life, sometimes it's all about getting your foot in the door so you can do what you really want. That's true. Not really what I want to hear at the moment, but it is true. He also mentions that if I don't enlist today, I will have to go through MEPS all over again, and God knows I don't want that. After a few more frustrated sighs, I give him the okay.

Another whirlwind of paperwork follows, then I swear in. My recruiter picks me up, along with the other young lady, and I immediately request that he look for another rating because I just can't see myself as an EM. He agrees to it, and mentions something about me stopping by his office Monday to find some other ratings.

I go to his office Monday, and ask if he heard about any other available ratings yet. He says he hasn't had a chance to look yet, then mentions something about an e-mail he got. After fumbling around, he finds the e-mail that lists recent seats for female recruits that became available. There's an opening in July for an Operations Specialist, but I am two points shy of qualifying for that position. I swear God is always looking down on me laughing. While I'm talking to him, a young guy comes in looking for the Coast Guard recruiting office. The recruiter gives him directions, then smoothly sits on the couch and asks the guy, "What makes you interested in the Coast Guard?" The guy says that he isn't ready for active duty just yet, and he wants to finish school before he gets into the military.

"Well, the Navy Reserve is basically the same thing....." the recruiter says. That lets me know he's about to go into selling mode. He ignores me for the next ten minutes or so while he baits the other guy in. I'm a little annoyed right now. I feel like I only got assistance long enough to get me enlisted, and now that they "got" me, it's "on to the next one." Then the recruiter lets me get on his computer to look up the ratings that I would be interested in, while he goes outside to smoke. I pretty much know what I want to do and what I qualify for, so I circle the ones I have in mind and get out of there.

So. Maybe I'm stressing for no reason, since I do have about nine months before I would have to ship out, but I'm less than thrilled that I made a decision based off the strong suggestion of the recruiter, and now he's nonchalant about finding another rating for me to switch to. I guess I have always been one of those people that doesn't like for people to sugarcoat shit for me. Some people like to be bullshitted; I don't. I like to be prepared for the worst. I know all the perks of being in the military and I know that I qualify for most of the ratings in the Navy, but it would have been nice for someone to clarify that even if you do qualify for a lot of ratings, it doesn't mean they will be available.

When I think about it, a lot of military procedures have that "if/then" factor to them. "You can travel to any country you want!" is what they tell you. What they don't tell you: "You can travel to any country you want.....IF the Navy has an available opening at that base." I don't know.....I still think it's a good opportunity, but I just don't know how everything will play out if I go into training for something that I have NO clue about whatsoever. I've also been told that you need to be at the top of your class in order to move up in the ranks and get first dibs on promotions, where you will be stationed, etc. How am I going to be at the top of my class when I don't know a damn thing about electricity, nor do I have a desire to know anything about it? Maybe I'm short-changing myself; maybe I will be better at it than I think.

To be continued..............

What's the Definition of Realistic?

I listened to the radio today and heard a segment about an interview P. Diddy had with Martin Bashir. Bashir touched on a sensitive topic when he questioned Diddy about the estimated $400,000 Maybach Diddy gave to his sixteen-year-old son as a birthday gift on the MTV show "My Super Sweet Sixteen," and whether or not he was teaching his son a "good lesson." While Diddy stated that he's free to do what he wants with his money and his children, blogs and radio stations have discussed whether the extravagant birthday gift was "realistic" to bestow upon his young son.

Now as much as I can't STAND Diddy, which is a whole other post, I have to say that I don't feel he did anything wrong by purchasing a Maybach for his son. I really don't see how his actions were "unrealistic," as some have said. As we all know, Diddy is flashy as hell, and he always seems willing to pull out all the stops when throwing parties or shopping, no matter the cost. Not to say Diddy doesn't have any financial woes because I'm not his accountant, but as long as he's not coming to me to loan him almost half a mil for a Maybach, why should I worry what he does with his cash? Why should ANYONE worry what he does with it?

Call me ignorant, but from what I know, Diddy's been in the industry for a minute. He has a record label, clothing line, and a fragrance line. I don't follow all of his business endeavors but those are the few that I know of. Even though the artists he has unleashed to the public lately have been questionable to say the least, I'd say he is most likely making more than enough money with all of those businesses. Shit, he's probably still living off money he made from Biggie in the 90s. Like I said, I don't like him as a person, but I can say that he appears to be pretty solid as an entrepreneur and isn't as frivolous with his money as idiots like *cough* Souljah Boy *cough*.

I always find it funny that non-famous people are so quick to categorize celebrities' purchases as "outlandish," while not realizing that we do the same thing everyday, just on a smaller scale. Even for myself, I know I've had moments in my life where I've splurged on an item that wasn't exactly a necessity. I know the argument most will make about the Diddy/Maybach situation is that they would never spoil their children like that. Yeah. That's because you can't. Of course a $400,000 car seems outlandish if you make $40,000 a year. I don't think Diddy buying that car for his kid is much different than the average American buying a Toyota Corolla for their son or daughter.

Let it rest, folks. I won't talk shit about Diddy's spending habits unless he pulls an M.C. Hammer in the future.

Monday, June 14, 2010

I Want This So Baaaaaaaaad.

I've seen the look Solange was rocking over the weekend and I love everything about it, from head-to-toe. She makes me want to grow out a 'fro so bad. Too bad I'm a big chicken. I've chopped *most* of my hair off, but for some reason I haven't been able to take the plunge and go natural. Baby steps.

I AM, however, willing to take the plunge for THAT DRESS! It's so adorable. Not that I have anywhere to wear it, or any money to buy it, but that's neither here nor there. I won't be getting paid from the training at this new job until the beginning of July, but I'm already contemplating blowing half of it just so I can be the proud owner of this piece of amazing-ness. Yes, it's that serious.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Pick-Up Lines.

I went to the grocery store with my mom today, and as I was pushing the cart along, my mom was walking ahead of me. As we neared the end of the aisle, she made a turn to the right. I attempted to swing the cart around the corner as well, but I noticed an older man had stopped in front of me and was blatantly checking out my mother's ass. Just typing that makes me feel dirty. Anywho, I gave him my best "Nigga, please" look and maneuvered around him to catch up with my mom. As we walked away, he yelled out to my mother, "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

She turned around with HER best "Nigga, please" look (that's where I get it from lol) and said, "No, I don't think so." He obviously didn't understand from her tone and facial expression that she wasn't interested in him and persisted with, "Weren't you at Club Situation last week?" She told him that she doesn't go clubbing; he finally accepted defeat and walked away.

On the way home, she mentioned that another man had used that same "Don't I know you?" line with her not too long ago, and I questioned what response a man is expecting when he asks you something like that. She suggested that perhaps the woman should say something like, "No, we don't know each other, but we can get to know each other." I argued that that seems like a lame way for a guy to assess whether a female is feeling him or not, and she asked me what could a guy say that would be appropriate. Then she proceeded to do some role playing (I know, embarrassing) as a potential suitor to see what pick-up lines would work for me and all I could do was laugh.

That situation made me think though: What pick-up line CAN a man use that won't result in a serious side-eye or "Nigga please" reaction from a female? I'm pretty hard on guys even if they are nice, but if you heard some of the lame-ness that dudes have stepped to me with, you would be hard on them too. Why don't guys realize that there's nothing appealing about being called "slim" or "shorty"? Why do they look at you like you're mentally unstable if you keep walking when they try to get you to approach their car? Why don't they realize that it is NOT okay, in any shape or form, to touch you after having a conversation for all of 30 seconds? Why do they attempt to force eye contact with you when you are clearly doing everything in your power to avoid it?

The only time a stranger flirted with me and I wasn't completely turned off was when I was about 13. Major throwback, I know. I was at Walgreens and the cashier working there was a cutie. I was super shy back then and because I thought he was cute, I was self-conscious about going through his line, but my mom pushed me toward the counter anyway. I bought a bottle of black nail polish (don't judge, I was going through a phase) and as he rang it up, he casually said, "Black, huh?" I just giggled, then pulled out my cash to pay for it and clumsily dropped my change on the counter as I handed it to him. I apologized and he said, "It's cool, it happens all the time." Then he looked at my mom, who was standing behind me, and pointed to me, saying, "She's flirting with me." Of course I started blushing like crazy and my mom took that as her opportunity to begin drilling him like he had just proposed to me. We didn't exchange numbers or anything (we found out that he was 19....yikes!), and I don't even know why I remember all of that, but it was cute. It didn't seem all forced and unnatural like some of the guys that stay trying to get your number, knowing damn well there is NO chemistry there.

So how is it possible to meet "The One"? I've come up with a potential solution, and it may sound anti-social and snobbish, but hear me out. As cliche as it sounds, I think the best way to meet a guy--or girl, is through school, work, or some other mutual organization that you both belong to. My mom always tells me of how she met my biological father and stepfather at church (not at the same time though), and all the guys I have "talked" to have been guys that I met at school/work. There's just something about that natural progression of seeing someone on a regular basis, getting to know them, and knowing that they're not a serial killer (or thinking you know). These days, you can't just give out your number to any ol' John Doe that asks for it. Well, you can, but once he calls or texts and you realize he's missing a few marbles, you find yourself thinking, "Damn. Why did I give that nigga my number?!" Because no matter how politely.....or rudely, you tell a dude you're just not interested, that seems to give him the inclination to text/call you every day. Then you gotta change your number.....ugh. It's just too much. Not to say that the same thing can't happen with a man you've known for years, but there are just so many unknowns dealing with a stranger, especially if his game was weak to begin with.

Friday, June 11, 2010

I Remember.......

.........One reason why I don't like being at home. No matter how old I get, or what I accomplish, I am always going to be treated and looked at as a child. An example of this would be the fact that whenever I *reluctantly* agree to go to dinner at my mom's best friend's house, I sit at the dining room table and essentially get ignored for the two, three, or four hours that we stay there. Which leads to me trying to think of various things I can Google on my Blackberry and continuously yawning to insinuate that I'm tired (and ready to go).

I know what you might be thinking: "Just don't go." Easier said than done. I recently declined an invitation to the same household for a birthday party.....and subsequently overheard my mother criticizing my decision not to go. Ummm.....okay. I confronted her about it, and she went through her speech about how it was "selfish" of me not to "support" her friend on her birthday, and that if I would've shown up it would have made her feel special. I told her that frankly, I don't believe her friend gives a fuck whether I show up to one of her parties or not (I'm paraphrasing, because my mom hates it when I curse). She countered my argument, saying that I was just projecting my "I-don't-care" attitude onto other people, because I wouldn't care if someone didn't show up to my birthday party. We went back and forth on the subject with her chastising me about shutting people out, and me telling her that I simply don't care about having friends anymore or making a bunch of social connections. I mean, I've made social connections before, and where exactly has it gotten me? Nowhere special. (Side note: another reason I didn't want to go to the party is because I knew her friend's hoodrat relatives would be in attendance, and my tolerance for hoodrats is getting lower and lower.) Then I told my mom that that is her friend, and I don't see why it should be a requirement for me to attend her birthday party. That would be like me getting pissed if my mom didn't tag along with me to my friend's birthday celebration....if I had any friends, that is. That got her really upset, and she brought up the fact that I was the one who reached out to her friend after they had not been on speaking terms for a couple years. *Shrugs* I just chalk that up to one of my rare acts of kindness in life.

Anyway, I said all that to say that we went to the same friend's house today, and after the mandatory hugs and "How are you's," she barely spoke a word to me. You know how someone will talk to a group of people and they make eye contact with everyone but you? Yeah, she does that. It annoys me. I don't know why, but it does. Then as we're leaving the house, my mom is telling us that her friend is having a get-together next week for all of her "girlfriends," and I of course, was not invited. Therefore proving my point that that is HER friend, and I am just her "best friend's daughter" (i.e., a child).

I'll post about some more positive shit later, but I just had to rant about that really quick.

Monday, June 7, 2010


Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with a guy. Just wanted to put that out there.

I filled out my Navy paperwork and I will be going to the Military Entrance Processing Station (MEPS) this Thursday to take the ASVAB, physical and medical exams, etc. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. This whole thing is still surreal for me. I guess I won't believe it until I'm headed to boot camp.....provided that all goes well with MEPS.

The part that I am least looking forward to is that females have to be examined in some uh.....personal places. That's probably the last thing I should be worried about though, right? I'm weird, I know.

I called my biological (read: absent) father to get his address for some of my paperwork, and he took that as his opportunity to tell me that he has "mixed feelings" about the military. Not that I'm really concerned about his opinion on the matter, but I entertained him long enough to hear his reasons, one of them being that he doesn't want me to "get shot at." Silly rabbit. Little does he know, I was at risk of being shot even when I attended Clark Atlanta University. Parents just don't understand.....*some* parents, that is. I tried to ease his mind to the best of my ability, telling him this is an opportunity to finish my education, pursue a career, etc. He told me to call him if there's anything he can do to help. My thoughts: Unless you can pay for me to go to school, no, there's nothing you can do. Talking to him reminds me of why our phone conversations are few and far in between. (I think that's the expression. Forgive me, I'm tired.)

That's all I have for now. I'll be sure to give the update on how the MEPS process goes. Unless I have to sign a disclosure statement saying I can't speak about military activities or something random. That would suck.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Internet Thugs.

I read a post at advising Black people to stay off Facebook. I agree with this notion wholeheartedly, and would like to expand that statement and suggest that Black people stay off the Internet period. Ignorant Black people, that is. Coons, as I am fond of calling them. (My mom doesn't like that word, but I love it.) This gripe is dedicated to all the folks that cannot formulate complete thoughts, and therefore resort to using profanities and red herrings to get their point across in an Internet debate.

Exhibit A:

My favorite blog in the whole wide world (besides my own) is I go to that blog every day, and have visited the site for several months now. I think Miss Jia is a breath of fresh air as far as blogs go; she posts topics that provoke good debates, and she doesn't sugarcoat her opinions, and doesn't expect for her readers to sugarcoat theirs. She also seems to be genuinely interested in interacting with her readers. She added a new feature to the blog called "Dear Celebrity," a platform that allows readers to send in letters addressed to celebrities that they feel have committed some offense that they need to be called out on. The first letter was addressed to Ciara and her less-than-stellar singing skills, and by reading the comments, I knew the shit had hit the fan, for lack of a better term. Everybody and their mama came out, defending Ciara's honor, chastising the letter writer for "hating" on Ciara, blah, blah, blah. Basically, nobody bought her damn Fantasy Ride album, but the moment someone critiques her, the whole blogging world has something to say.

Okay, whatever. The next "Dear Celebrity" letter is addressed to 50 Cent, focusing on his significant weight loss for his upcoming movie role. I'm too lazy to post his photo here, but it's been posted on just about every other blog online. Needless to say, that nigga looks scary as fuck. Not too many complaints on that post.

THEN someone wrote in about Keri Hilson. My God. I never knew how many fans this chick had until I read the comments on this letter. The author of the letter apparently made a "death threat" to Ms. Keri and a lot of folks were ready to call the FBI about it. Being the sarcasm queen that I am, I knew that the mention of death wasn't serious, but apparently the satire went over a lot of blog readers' heads.

Which brings me to today's "Dear Celebrity" letter. It was addressed to the former "Princess of Roc-a-fella" Teairra Mari. The author basically called her out on her lukewarm singing career and suggested that she have a seat. No harm, right? Wrong. All of a sudden, I find out that Teairra Mari has "stans" too. What is going on in the world? She hasn't had a hit single since what.....'05? The claws were out anyway though; dumb asses that clearly need to be hooked on Phonics were accusing Miss Jia of writing the letter, while others scolded her for not "uplifting Black women." I was fed up with it, so I posted this comment:

"Wow. I can't take some of these comments.....Teairra Mari has stans now? Who knew? I said it before and I'll say it again: these letters are NOT meant to PRAISE a celebrity. If someone doesn't like a celeb, they're entitled to their opinion. These letters are no different than when we sit around with our friends and watch the BET (pause) or MTV Awards and criticize what the celebs say, do, and wear.

If you're looking to be "uplifted," maybe you need to go to church, or an empowerment workshop. Like someone else said, a blog is a form of entertainment for people to come and get their daily shits and giggles. I didn't see anyone complaining about us roasting those two fools "performing" to Trey Songz in that messy ass room, or the big girl flailing around to Ciara's "Ride." The only difference between their fuckery and the fuckery outlined in the "Dear Celebrity" letters is that the latter are famous....or semi-famous. Or whatever. Don't act like there isn't SOME truth to what the letter writers have said. Ciara is NOT the best singer. 50 Cent DOES look scary as hell in his new film role. Keri Hilson IS a bit bland (even though I like her). Teairra Mari IS a mediocre artist. Get over it.

P.S. I'm willing to bet my liquor money that this "Alicia" character is either a member of Teairra Mari's camp, or Teairra Mari herself."

I tried to be as nice as I could, although I was (and still am) quite annoyed that something created in an attempt to provide another source of entertainment has turned into a crucifixion for anyone that dares to give their opinion on a celebrity. I mean, judging and/or debating what a celebrity has done or said is only what all of us do EVERY DAY when we go to an entertainment blog. Of course, this prompted another die-hard Teairra Mari crotch-rider to come at me. This is what the genius had to say:

"Lol at people trying to hate on my girl Teairra. Fuck out of here. Teairra all day everyday. Here to stay. And if anyone got shit to say about it. You can holla at me @TeairraMinaj on twitter. I stan for her all day everyday. You think you can say shit and the teamteatea gonna let you get away with that shit? no ma'am miss pam. Oh and for the record. Teairra is not mediocre. She can actually sing her songs live. And she's drop dead gorgeous. Hooker."

*Scratches head* Huh? Okay, first of all, "@TeairraMinaj," I never said anything about her looks. I think Teairra Mari is a very pretty girl. There are a lot of pretty girls in the world; that doesn't mean they are all destined to be international R&B stars. I feel like this fact applies to her as well. Second, I never said she couldn't "sing live." Singing live does not qualify you as a great entertainer. Mediocrity has nothing to do with how well you can perform onstage. Mediocrity means you are ordinary or average. If I heard a Teairra Mari song on the radio, I would have no clue who it was. Therefore, she doesn't stand out. Therefore, she is not unique. Hence my usage of the word "mediocre." Third, the fact that your Twitter name is @TeairraMinaj tells me everything I need to know about your intelligence level. Please read a book and stop Internet thugging on your grandma's computer.

The end.

P.S. Since when does giving an opinion on a blog translate to being a hooker? Okay, I'm going to bed.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Time Flies.

This year is officially halfway Where did all that time go? Why do I feel like I haven't accomplished a damn thing in the past six months? Lol. I looked at my list of goals for 2010 and I've achieved 2.5 goals so far. =/ Sigh. Amazing how abruptly shit can change. I'm trying to keep a positive outlook and whatnot, so I won't start complaining about the shitty-ness that occurred almost immediately after the New Year ended (or......started).

I WILL, however, ponder the irony that for the past couple years, my year will start out really great and make a turn for the worst during the second half of the year, or vice versa. I wonder when (or if) I will ever have a full year of greatness. I guess the upside to the phenomenon that I've noticed would indicate that my year should start getting better in a little while, since the first half of this year sucked beyond imagination.

Depending on some of the decisions that I may or may not make in the upcoming months, life could change significantly for me. As of last week, I am seriously considering signing up for the Navy. Enlisting in the military is an idea that I've toyed around with at different points in my life before, but never actually had the nerve to go through with. I contacted the National Guard some time last year, and while I was in Atlanta, a friend and I made plans to study for the ASVAB so we could go into the Navy together. Of course we never got around to actually studying though. Ah, the joys of procrastination.

As with everything, I'm doing my research and trying to learn everything there is to know about living and working in the Navy, since it seems to be one of those "things" that people don't really like to talk about. Whenever I ask someone who's served in the military to tell me what it was like, they simply say it was "hard." Okay....and what the hell does that mean? Can I get more adjectives please? Is there a code of honor I don't know about that says you can't discuss anything that goes on when you're in the military? I figure it can't be a piece of cake, and I don't want it to be, but a little insight from someone who's experienced it would be nice. I know there are good financial benefits involved, which is one reason why I'm really leaning towards it. Most of the people that I have met that served in the military seem to have their shit together (financially) and are living comfortably. (With the exception of a family member that won't be mentioned beyond this point.) The Navy will help pay for school, and I could really use financial assistance to finish my degree (that doesn't come in the form of a high-interest loan).

On the flip side, from the scraps of information I've accumulated, I'm led to believe that enlisting in the military is synonymous with going to prison. The only difference is that you actually make the choice to go. I wonder how smart it would be to volunteer to go to a prison-like institution. I've always had issues with authority figures, and I've found through my research that you HAVE to do what you're told, or you could get in serious trouble. Then you can't have your iPod when you're training....or use Internet? How is an Internet whore like myself going to deal with that? I go into mini-convulsions when I take out-of-town trips for the week and stay in hotels that don't have wireless access.

I guess I have to prioritize what's really important, and decide whether or not my freedom is that important to me. Yes, I'm being melodramatic. Let me have my moment.