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Friday, June 11, 2010

I Remember.......

.........One reason why I don't like being at home. No matter how old I get, or what I accomplish, I am always going to be treated and looked at as a child. An example of this would be the fact that whenever I *reluctantly* agree to go to dinner at my mom's best friend's house, I sit at the dining room table and essentially get ignored for the two, three, or four hours that we stay there. Which leads to me trying to think of various things I can Google on my Blackberry and continuously yawning to insinuate that I'm tired (and ready to go).

I know what you might be thinking: "Just don't go." Easier said than done. I recently declined an invitation to the same household for a birthday party.....and subsequently overheard my mother criticizing my decision not to go. Ummm.....okay. I confronted her about it, and she went through her speech about how it was "selfish" of me not to "support" her friend on her birthday, and that if I would've shown up it would have made her feel special. I told her that frankly, I don't believe her friend gives a fuck whether I show up to one of her parties or not (I'm paraphrasing, because my mom hates it when I curse). She countered my argument, saying that I was just projecting my "I-don't-care" attitude onto other people, because I wouldn't care if someone didn't show up to my birthday party. We went back and forth on the subject with her chastising me about shutting people out, and me telling her that I simply don't care about having friends anymore or making a bunch of social connections. I mean, I've made social connections before, and where exactly has it gotten me? Nowhere special. (Side note: another reason I didn't want to go to the party is because I knew her friend's hoodrat relatives would be in attendance, and my tolerance for hoodrats is getting lower and lower.) Then I told my mom that that is her friend, and I don't see why it should be a requirement for me to attend her birthday party. That would be like me getting pissed if my mom didn't tag along with me to my friend's birthday celebration....if I had any friends, that is. That got her really upset, and she brought up the fact that I was the one who reached out to her friend after they had not been on speaking terms for a couple years. *Shrugs* I just chalk that up to one of my rare acts of kindness in life.

Anyway, I said all that to say that we went to the same friend's house today, and after the mandatory hugs and "How are you's," she barely spoke a word to me. You know how someone will talk to a group of people and they make eye contact with everyone but you? Yeah, she does that. It annoys me. I don't know why, but it does. Then as we're leaving the house, my mom is telling us that her friend is having a get-together next week for all of her "girlfriends," and I of course, was not invited. Therefore proving my point that that is HER friend, and I am just her "best friend's daughter" (i.e., a child).

I'll post about some more positive shit later, but I just had to rant about that really quick.

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