Sunday, July 18, 2010

Double Standards.

Last week, my stepdad's cousin passed away. The funeral was this past Thursday, and I couldn't attend because I was at work. I thought I would be free from having to visit with the family, but no such luck. When I got home, my mom informed me that my aunts and cousins wanted to see "the kids" (me and my siblings). My brother was feeling ill, but my sister and I were forced to go.

After walking inside my great-aunt's apartment and saying our hellos, we sat on the sofa and this is when the buffoonery began. A cousin of ours who is probably around our parents' age (and whom I had never met until that day), randomly decided to start an inebriated rant about kids these days and how they have too much access to sexual content online and on TV. He went on and on about how "all you see these days on TV is titties," and how MySpace and Facebook are the devil.

He then targeted me and my sister as the audience for his speech, and told us to stay lady-like and not let these boys fool us into doing anything silly. He spoke of his fifteen-year-old daughter and how he has to keep his shotgun handy when she introduces him to a new boyfriend. According to our cousin, girls need to keep up their standards, and focus on getting an education and pursuing a successful career, rather than focusing on boys. I patiently waited for him to contradict himself, and he didn't disappoint. Only moments later, he said, "Now if my son got 10 or 15 girls he messing with, I'ma say, 'That's my boy!' Until they get pregnant......then you on your own."

*Blank stare*

I really get tired of older folks acting like online social networking and hip-hop music is the root of all evil. If I'm not mistaken, teenage girls got knocked up back in the day too. Maybe not as frequently as they do today, but it still happened. Sexual innuendos were also made in music of decades past, but no one blamed Rick James or Barry White for the shortcomings of their generation. I personally don't feel that the media should be pointed to as the sole cause of why today's wayward youth are so......wayward.

In my opinion, the biggest reason most kids are so messed up is because of ignorant people like my cousin, who don't even know they're ignorant. He's not the first man to bring up that bullshit double standard of "girls have to keep themselves pure, but boys can fuck whomever they want," and I'm sure he won't be the last. This way of thinking seems to be embedded into society's psyche. Guys think nothing of having a serious girlfriend, while "talking" to numerous other females. I heard a co-worker the other day openly discussing how he tells girls that he doesn't mind "kicking it" with them, but he already has a girlfriend that he doesn't plan on breaking up with. I'm willing to bet all my gas money that none of those girls had a problem with simply "kicking it" with him either.

Which brings me to my next point. If you really stop and think about it, the double standard for men and women doesn't even make sense. In the case of my cousin, where is his son going to get these 10 or 15 girls if all the girls in the world were to keep themselves lady-like? It's impossible. Somebody's going to have to lower their standards in order for the boys to get their pimping on. I think most people just hope that it's another parents' daughter and not theirs.

I know, I know. "It might be wrong, but that's just the way it is." That's not good enough for me. Slavery was "just the way it was" at one point in time too; if everyone had just accepted that way of thinking, we'd still be toiling away in corn fields, correct? I will never understand how people can rationalize that a boy can stick his d*ck in everything that's not moving, but a girl better keep her legs closed for as long as possible. What will the reward be for the girl then? To grow up and marry that same boy, so she can constantly be confronted by all the other girls that he "kicked it" with back in the day? To be compared to all the "freaks" her man has been with, and made to feel that she's doing something wrong because she hasn't had the same experience?

I hate to sound pessimistic, but I feel like there is no solution to this problem. People like my cousin will pass their way of thinking down to my generation, who will pass it on to their kids, and so on and so on. This is reason #546,280 that I'm not sure if I want to have kids, because I would hate to subject them to the ass-backwards standards that the world has.


★Starrla Monae☆ said...

SPEAK ON IT!!!! The whole notion with men being able to do what they want with whomever they want to do it with is PLAYED! That is part of the reason why "relationships" (if we can even call them that anymore) are so jacked up. No one wants to take responsibility for their actions. They would rather bask in ignorance. Men need to MAN may sound cliche but that's what needs to be done. Don't be influenced by toxic brainwash. Women need to desire better for themselves. Don't settle for "just kickin' it" when you know good and damn well that's not what you want.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha! Your cousin is a strait up fool- he probably really thought he sounded intelligent too... I always wondered the same thing, if girls are supposed to be pure and not be on that ho sh*t then how is it okay for a boy to mess with a bunch of different women? Wouldn't that defeat the purpose for saying that in the first place? Hmm...

And facebook is only part of a much bigger problem. It's a bunch of different things: Lack of good parenting and guidance in the household, a messed up education system, etc.

UglyCleanBroke87 said...

@Starrla, amen to the toxic brainwash and women settling when they know they want more from a man. Females shout that they don't want anything serious, but more often than not they're only saying that because they've compromised for the sake of having just a little piece of a man.

@Alee, hell yeah he thought he sounded his dingy wifebeater and gym shorts. Smh