Miss Jia posted a discussion topic on her blog yesterday asking her readers to speak out on potential reasons for their single-hood. Some of the answers were pretty deep, and more than a few mirrored my own thoughts and feelings about my personal life. There seemed to be a common factor of people fearing rejection and often second-guessing themselves so much that they are usually afraid to pursue a relationship. It's not very often that I hear people admit to having those issues (although I suppose it's easier to admit your flaws in cyberspace than in reality). I commented on the post, and I know this might sound super conceited, but I thought what I had to say was pretty good and somewhat therapeutic, so I'll re-post my comment here:
First, I am picky. As hell. I can get turned off by the simplest thing that a guy does, like if he sends too many text messages or spells "you're" as "your." I'm not looking for perfection, but I must admit that my standards are pretty damn high. I won't even stop walking if a dude hollers to me out on the street because I think that's just rude. Sue me.
I'm very reserved and to myself. I think that may turn guys off, especially since I'm starting to realize that men are more sensitive than women. They need that "go-ahead" to approach, like a smile or eye contact, and I never do any of that. I'm not as confident as I would like to be, but I'm very good at faking it, to the point where I think it comes off as being snobby.
I'm living in the year 2010! I was having a discussion with my mother earlier today, and I don't think she realizes that dating isn't the same as it was "back in the day." Her generation didn't have to worry about being measured up against video vixens and Victoria's Secret models, while also being expected to "have their own" and be independent.
Like others have said, I don't feel like I'm where I want to be in my life right now, and I want to be at the same standards that I'm looking for in a guy. I can't expect him to have a degree, house, stable career, and caring nature if I don't. I can still be very selfish and mean sometimes, and I need to straighten that out on my own before I unleash myself on some poor, unsuspecting man.