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Sunday, February 27, 2011

No Heterosexual Man.............




..............Should ever dye his hair. At least that's the comment that I saw on another blog after Chris Brown posted a pic of his new platinum blonde 'do.

Reading that comment amused and annoyed me all at the same time. I have a brother who dyes his hair frequently (as a matter of fact, he just dyed his hair blonde this past week for the 60,000th time). He's a heterosexual, although his sexuality has been called into question before, based on superficial "guidelines" people have for straight men. Quite often in the media, and in everyday life, there seems to be a double standard on what each gender can get away with. Women are pretty liberated with the style choices they make, but for men, apparently there is some unofficial rulebook on what straight men can and cannot wear, and can and cannot do.

To be honest, I've been guilty of seeing a guy do something that I found to be questionable, and I found myself thinking, "This dude is gay....." For example, just the other day, I was unfortunate enough to come across a leaked semi-nude pic of the rapper Young Berg. Go here to check out the NSFW photo if you dare. I don't know....something about his pose, the way he pursed his lips just so, the Blackberry Pearl, all gave me some serious gay-dar vibes. In this situation, I think my suspicions are valid, but I digress. My point is, what is it that's wired into us to automatically think hair color, or wearing certain jeans, or anything else, is not acceptable if a man is straight? Yet, I never hear anyone make comments like, "No heterosexual woman should shave her head bald" or "No heterosexual woman should wear sagging pants."

There have been more than enough publicized instances, in which the stereotypically masculine man turned out to be on the DL, so I really don't understand why people still make such generalized comments as the one mentioned above. The comment was made by a woman, which makes it all the more ridiculous to me, because women are the main ones that will reject a man for a stupid reason like "He dyed his hair blonde, and no heterosexual man should do that." These same women turn around and get sprung on a "manly man," then are heartbroken when it turns out the same dude is creeping with one of his homies.

I guess I have to start with myself though, and be more conscious of not immediately throwing up "He's gay" flags, the moment a guy does or wears something that society says is unacceptable for a heterosexual man.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Just Stop.



For all the Twitterers out there, you may have caught the latest celebrity beef on the social networking site, brought to us by none other than Little Miss Sunshine aka Rihanna, and "Goodies" singer Ciara.

I'm sure a lot of you have seen or heard about the beef by now, so I'll just give a quick rundown of how it started. Ciara made an appearance on E!'s "Fashion Police," where Rihanna was listed as a fashion offender. (If you haven't seen the clip, you can check it out here.) After the other panelists on the show gave their commentary, Ciara mentioned that Rihanna wasn't the "nicest" when the two singers ran into each other at an event. The show's host Joan Rivers chimed in with more blatant terms and exclaimed, "A bitch.....next!"

Of course, Rihanna stans got wind of the alleged "diss" and started going in on Ciara
. Rihanna decided to get in on the action herself and tweeted some cutting remarks in reference to Ciara's lukewarm career. The two went back and forth shortly, before Rihanna's publicist gave an apology. The whole thing probably lasted about an hour, but everyone is still talking about it, and of course, the Rihanna "Navy" is praising their queen for publicly shitting on a fellow artist.




I honestly just want to know when these celebs will grow up. From what I saw in the "Fashion Police" clip, Ciara didn't seem like she was being malicious toward Rihanna. As a matter of fact, it appears to have been edited, as if someone had asked her a question about Rihanna not related to her fashion choice, and Ciara was simply answering the question. For Rihanna to come back the way she did was extremely catty, and only seemed to further illustrate the point Ciara previously made. I've seen comments that Rihanna had "every right to be upset" about what was said, but I've heard people say far worse about Rihanna and she never retaliated. She didn't take shots at Donald Trump for his claims about her skipping out on that charity event, or David LaChapelle for his allegations that she carbon-copied his artwork in her "S&M" video. But the chick who sang "1, 2 Step" says she's not nice, and all hell breaks loose? C'mon son.

In the event that Ciara's remark was not the product of editing magic, and was indeed intended to throw unnecessary shade, she gets a supreme side eye. I'd rather she focus on giving us some of that good ol' Crunk 'n B she was known for back in the day. As for Rih....hmph. Her antics since the "Chrianna" situation have been questionable to say the least, in my opinion. Her team has done a commendable job of keeping her in the spotlight thus far, but I don't know how long the "Rihanna reign" will last with all that strained-ass singing and stiff dancing she does. My personal recommendation for Rih is that she stays off Twitter, takes vocal lessons, and learns some dance moves that involve more than winding her pussy, before she finds herself struggling to book performances.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

This Can't Be Life.

The customers who call my job are hilarious. They don't realize that they're hilarious, but they are. These people are so petty, and so negative, and so unequipped to handle life's mishaps that sometimes I think I'm being Punk'd when I answer the phone. *Some* people have legitimate complaints, and most of the time those are the ones that DON'T request to speak with upper management. But the others.....boy. I've had callers complain about "dropped calls" when they live in the middle of Buttfuck, Wyoming, people who demand to be sent a phone free of charge because theirs was dropped and now has a huge crack in the screen, just a little of everything.

Anyway, the "Asshole of the Day" award during today's shift goes to a man who called and immediately sounded annoyed when I asked him to verify his account and social security number. When I asked how I could be of assistance, he told me a phone had been shipped to him and he received a packing slip at his door that said "Delivery Attempted." He demanded to know what that meant. I paused for several seconds, trying to figure out how in the hell I could explain that; it seemed pretty self-explanatory. I repeated his question to make sure I understood what he was asking, and he scoffed as if I was an idiot. I explained to him that we always make customers aware that when a package is being delivered, it is at the driver's discretion whether or not to leave that package at the mailing address, or to leave a slip stating that a delivery was attempted. He continued demanding to know why the driver didn't just leave the package at his address. Apparently my explanations weren't good enough, so he then exclaimed, "You're useless!" and hung up.

BLANK. FUCKING. STARE.

You mean to tell me you took the time out of your day to call ME, had the nerve to act like you were perturbed over verifying your information, then expected ME to explain why the damn USPS driver didn't leave your package at your house? Hey genius.....how about you call USPS?!? Shit, all the time you spent complaining about it, you could have taken your lazy ass to the post office and picked it up. The next time somebody calls asking me some dumb shit, I'm going to tell them I have to place them on a 1-hour hold while I look in my crystal ball.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

It's Me Again.

Yes, it's been a minute since I posted anything. I would apologize but........why? I've been working like a modern day slave, and besides that, I just haven't been motivated to write anything lately. That's pretty fucked up, considering the fact that writing is (or was?) my passion.

It's about that time for another emo post, so here we go. I'm pretty sure that I am currently in the middle of a quarter-life crisis. Or maybe a pre-quarter-life crisis? I dunno...but whatever it is, that's what I'm in the middle of. It's kind of like an out-of-body experience, where the "real" me is watching a shell of myself living mundane day-to-day life. This shell only seems to be capable of doing things it's obligated to do, rather than things that it wants to do. The shell goes to work every day and puts up with bullshit from rude, selfish, petty customers not because the shell wants to, but because the shell knows that if it doesn't, bills will pile up, and Sallie Mae, Commerce Bank, Mohela, and everyone else will have the shell on speed dial to find out where their money is. In between work, the shell buys groceries and gas, because those items are needed to survive. The shell jogs on the treadmill 2-3 times a week, not because the shell wants to, but because the shell doesn't want to be weak and out of shape for boot camp. In between work, running errands, and working out, the shell tries to get as much sleep as possible, and accompanies family members to the birthday parties of family friends. Not because the shell wants to, but because the shell doesn't want to be seen as a non-socializing bitch.

So this is it, I guess. At the age of 23, I feel like I'm in my mid-40s. I don't know when--or if--it will get better. I've made my decision to go to the military and if that goes as planned, I'm pretty sure I'll be going through the same cycle of not doing what I want to do, but doing what I'm obligated to do. The Navy will decide where I'm stationed, whether I can switch my job, whether I can live on my own or not, blah, blah, blah. If I were straight out of high school, maybe it wouldn't be such a big deal, but I've been "on my own" for 5 years, and still have yet to attain the freedom that I so desperately craved as a teenager. I know the benefits of my decision, but I can't ignore the nagging feeling that taking orders from others is just going to stifle the freedom that I want even more.

I've said this several times, but I need a vacation. I don't know where yet, but I have to get out of town. Last year I didn't do shit as far as traveling. I went to Charlotte for my birthday and Atlanta for my friend's birthday and that was it. I've got to do better. One of my friends is currently studying abroad in Paris, and I just found out some of my other friends went to Norway for Christmas and New Year's. Yes, I'm jealous. I need to be doing some shit like that. Even if I can't go out of the country right now, I at least need to get out of St. Louis. I thought about driving to Chicago to visit with my dad and his side of the family since I haven't seen them in years....but the more I think about it, the more I'm like, "Ehhh...err...no." I don't feel like spending my money and gas just to be bombarded with dumb-ass comments like "Girl, you still so skinny!" or "You ain't got a boyfriend?!" I don't have time for the petty shit. I want to enjoy my time off. Hell, I'm even contemplating visiting my "frenemies" from Atlanta.

So....yeah, that's what's going on in my neck of the woods. I'll try to think of some less depressing shit to blog about later.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Some People Never Change.

Don't you hate when an old friend and/or acquaintance sends you a friend request on Facebook? If you're like me, you don't want to add that person because you don't want them seeing what you're up to, and you really don't care to see what has been going on in their lives either. But then there is the small part inside you that feels a twinge of guilt if you ignore the request.

I had this minor dilemma when the daughter of my mom's old friend sent a friend request yesterday. I accepted it, only because I knew she was probably just adding me for the hell of it and I wouldn't have to worry about that fake-ass "catching up" bullshit that people do when they haven't talked in years.

After accepting the request, I take a look at her profile and notice that not a damn thing about her has changed. She has married her high school boyfriend and now has two small children, but personality-wise, nothing has changed. Back when I knew her, this girl was one of the "holy rollers" who does nothing but talk about how sinful everyone else in the world is. This girl believed there were two sins that would give you a first-class ticket to hell: fornication and homosexuality. She prided herself on the fact that she was a virgin and was "saving" herself for marriage, and she had made it her life's goal to marry her boyfriend before she turned 18. Being the non-holy roller that I am, I thought she was completely insane. Even though I never said a word to her about her beliefs, I'm pretty sure she could tell I didn't agree. I've been told that my facial expressions give me away, and I distinctly remember that my side eye was in full effect whenever she would go off on her tirades about gay people and anyone that has sex before they get married.

Anyway, fast forward to some of her recent status updates. She's still writing paragraphs on how wrong homosexuality is, and chastising girls who have sex before marriage, because of "all the STDs out there." The names "Jesus," "God," or "Lord" are used in just about every post. Meanwhile, she also posts about how good her husband is in the bedroom, while threatening to cut any girl that tries to take him away from her. o_O

Most of the shit on her page is pure comedy to me, due to all the grammatical errors and her borderline-schizophrenic thought process. At the same time.....it's just sad. It takes everything in me not to write on her wall, "GROW THE FUCK UP!!!!!" After all these years, you mean to tell me you're still caught up in this juvenile drama of a girl trying to "take your man"? If he's as wonderful as you claim in all of your other status updates, why is that even an issue worth writing about? If you're not gay, why the hell are you concerned about what other people are doing with their lives? Why don't you stop ranting on Facebook, telling everybody they're going to hell, and worry about getting your education and taking care of your little boys?

Ugh. I know I just went on a little rant myself, but holier-than-thou folks who are constantly throwing stones really grind my gears. I may not always agree with the way other people live their lives, but I have never taken it upon myself to determine where they're going in the "afterlife" because of it. That shit is just nutty.