Sunday, October 23, 2011

Need Some Help.

I made it here to Norfolk this past Thursday. It's kind of dull so far. That's probably due to the fact that I'm staying in what's called the "barge." That's basically a tiny, cramped ass compartment with coffin-sized bed spaces and equally small showers and bathrooms. There's no one else in there with me, except a girl who's on restricted duty and is getting kicked out of the military for coming into work hungover. This housing is supposed to be temporary until I get assigned to barracks or off-base housing, but it's still low-key depressing, especially since I don't know anyone here yet.

Which brings me to my next point. Everyone has been telling me that I NEED a car. I had already planned on getting one, but I wanted to wait it out a couple months until I had money saved up for a decent down payment and such. The thing is, being here, I don't think I can make it for a couple months with no transportation (the "shuttles" I was told about seemingly don't exist). I can apply through my credit union for a car loan but I'm hesitant to do that. I don't have too many bills except for a couple credit cards and my phone bill but I know a car means a car payment, gas, insurance, etc, etc. And I'm afraid. I've been super, duper, ridiculously broke before and I don't ever want to go back there.

I need some advice. My mom and my friends are telling me to just go for it. But I don't want to "just go for it" and end up in a bigger hole than what I already am. If there are any finance/car savvy folks out in the blogger world, a little advice would be most appreciated.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


Sooooo......I think I'm in a relationship. This shit is weird, to say the least. I've known him for about six years, but we're just now "talking" so it's going to take a minute to make the transition from friends to boyfriend/girlfriend.

The thing is, I don't really know how to be anyone's girlfriend. I'll admit, I'm 24 years old and I have never been in a long-term relationship, so I'm used to doing things on my own. I never consult with anyone on what I'm going to do; I just do it. Now I have to think about what I do and how it will affect someone else. Like me being in the military. I don't think he's crazy about the idea of me serving....but there are times when I've contemplated staying in for 20 years. I mean, how awesome would it be to retire at 44? At the same time, I don't want to do it if it will cause tension between us.

The other thing is, I HATE talking about my feelings, so I probably come off as a bitch to him sometimes. He told me he had always wanted to kiss me but never did, because he thought I would karate chop him. I'm just not used to being affectionate. I don't know how to change that. Saying how I feel, telling someone my innermost thoughts, makes me feel extremely awkward, and awkward is not how I like to be. I'm pretty much in control at all times, so not being in control is strange...

Yeah. That's all I can say for now. Even blogging about this is awkward.