Sunday, December 4, 2011

Deja Vu.

Do you ever find yourself attracting the exact same kind of friends no matter how many times you say you won't? It makes you have to look at yourself and ask what could be wrong with you if you end up in the same situations time and time again. With that being said....self, what the hell is wrong with you???

Let me back up a little. A few years ago when I lived in Atlanta, I became "friends" with a girl that was going to the same school. Initially she seemed pretty stuck up to me, but due to a mutual hatred of the institution we went to, we hung out more and more often, to the point where we were together every day. This girl was the complete opposite of me: loud and outgoing, heavy set, never seen without a sew-in weave, very flirtatious. Somehow though, we managed to get along for a significant amount of time. Eventually, I began to realize that she used her outspoken nature as a way to manipulate others, myself included. Although I'm a quiet person, I don't do well with being manipulated, so I cut the friendship off. This led to her writing me a lengthy and nasty Facebook message about how honored I should have been to be in her presence, which led to me blocking her and moving on with my life.

Fast forward to now. I don't know too many people here in Virginia, except a girl I used to be roommates with in "A" school. This girl is also the total opposite of me: loud and outgoing, heavy set, religiously wears a sew-in weave, very flirty (seeing the pattern here?). And again, we've managed to get along for a significant amount of time.


This past Friday, we make plans to go to her friend's apartment and have a few drinks before going to a club in town. We go to the club and it's okay, not a horrible place but nothing to write home about. We're there for an hour and a half to two hours tops, when my friend tells me she's been texting back and forth with her fuck buddy and he told her his roommate wants me to come over. I had gone over to her friend's place once before and his roommate barely talked to me, which didn't bother me much since I already have a boyfriend. However, this night at the club is a prime example of why liquor should never be mixed with decision making, because I agree to go over there with her again.

We drop her other friend off at home, then head to the dude's apartment. We get inside to find her friend, his roommate, and two other guys I've never seen before. I'm getting a feeling this isn't going to go the way my friend thought it would. I sit down and wait as she and the friend engage in the flirtatious bantering that seems to be a prerequisite to them going off to his room and getting it in. The shots of Hennessy I had earlier are making me drowsy, then I hear her friend call me to hang out with everyone in the kitchen. When I hesitate, he invites me out the balcony to have a "chat." Bad decision #2.

We get outside and he starts asking which of his friends I "want." I stare at him in confusion, and tell him I don't "want" either one of them. First of all, I have a boyfriend, second, neither of the guys are attractive or interesting to me, and third, I'm not in the business of fucking random niggas for the hell of it. Then his roommate comes out, saying he wouldn't mind being the chosen one but he has a crazy baby's mama. They go on for a while, asking if I'm shy and trying to convince me that it's "just sex." The roommate leaves, then the other dude goes into some other shit, implying that even though he's been sleeping with my friend, he wouldn't mind taking a shot at me. Then he says something about an orgy and I tell him to go talk to my friend because I'm done with this whole conversation. He asks if she's down, does that mean I am too? Again, I tell him to go talk to her.

She comes out to the balcony moments later and asks if I said I wanted to have an orgy. I tell her hell no, and she asks if I want to leave. I say yes, and we start to head out. As we're leaving, her friend says something to her that I don't hear then tells her he's going to have his sister fight her, which makes her go crazy. She's trying to fight him and his friend, while the rest of us are trying to break them up. We finally get her downstairs and to my car, then I realize that I left my phone upstairs in the whole frenzy. She's more than happy to go get my phone, as this will give her another opportunity to swing on some niggas. By the time she gets my phone, the police are pulling up.

They ask what we were doing, and she refuses to tell them anything. All she keeps saying is that she was going to get my phone off the charger and we were about to leave. I'm a sheltered child and I've never had many dealings with the cops, but I decide not to incriminate myself, avoiding the cop's questions when he asks what was going on. They take our IDs and head upstairs to talk to the guys. Moments later, the cops come downstairs and tell us we can go. On the way to the car, I tell her it was stupid for her to get into it with them, knowing we could have gotten in trouble for it. Her response: "Okay, but we didn't!"

Then she starts talking shit about how she was just trying to get my phone and I could have gotten it myself, and from now on she's not going anywhere, she's just going to stay posted in her room, blah, blah, blah. I'm tired of her dramatic bullshit and don't say anything else to her on the drive back to base. She gets out of the car without a word and storms off. I'm confused on how I was trying to stop her from doing dumb shit and now she's mad. I already know that will be the last time it ever happens. We're in the military now, so if we get taken in by the police, that will open up a whole world of trouble, but I guess that doesn't mean anything to someone who's intoxicated and angry that they missed out on some Friday night dick.

Anyway, I feel like this always happens to me. I get caught up with some Bad Girls Club wannabe and end up right in the middle of her drama. Then when I cut her off, it leaves me all by myself because she was so manipulative that she made sure no one else hung out with us. I don't want to befriend anyone else like that, but I don't know how I will stop it, since I thought I had learned my lesson after the girl I kicked it with in Atlanta.


Monique said...

I'm mad she just flat out asked if you were down for an orgy. Like, really? Girl leave those crazy females alone. Most of them have never been away from home and think they can get buckwild.

Kam said...

LOL *note to self...avoid heavy set loud women with nothing to lose* Yeah I totally get what you mean about getting stuck in a pattern, I've had so many repeat friendships that I'm mostly keeping a distance now, and it's easier to spot their flaws. Anyone who manages to involve police in my life definitely has to go!