Thursday, May 10, 2012

Girl........Have one of These. \_

I don't know if any of you had the opportunity to check out Rihanna's recent performance on Saturday Night Live. If you missed it, you can catch it here.

Before I start, let me say this. I AM a fan of Rihanna's music. I wasn't all that into her when she came out with "Pon de Replay," but I've been rocking out with her since her Good Girl Gone Bad days. She's a beautiful girl, she's sexy, and even when I try to hate some of her songs, most of them end up being some of my favorites, because they're just so damn catchy.

^^^This was a disclaimer for anyone that may think I am bashing her when I make these following comments.

The performance was horrible. I knew it was going to be horrible before I pressed "play," but because I'm a fan, there's always that tiny glimmer of hope inside that says, "Okay, THIS will be the time when she finally nails it!"

But no. Rih's been in the game seven years now and she's still giving me strained ass vocals and amateur dancing. I got chills while she warbled her way through "Birthday Cake" and "Talk that Talk" and I'm not talking about the rejuvenated, I-got-the-Holy-Ghost kind of chills.

What makes her disastrous live performing even worse is the people that comment and make every single excuse known to man. I've heard things like, "Well at least she's trying" and "Maybe she was nervous" and "At least she looked good."

Are you serious? Like I said earlier, Rihanna's been in the music industry for SEVEN years. Count 'em: one, two, three, four, five, six, SEVEN. She's received Grammys, she's had several concert tours. She's not some new buck pushing her first single. When she sang like this during her Music of the Sun days, I could kinda understand. I say "kinda," because if you're calling yourself a singer, then dammit you better sing. But you've dropped six albums and you still sound like a billy goat being strangled? Nah, son. That's unacceptable. I don't give a damn how pretty she looks or if she has performance jitters. Being a music artist is her JOB. If you can't perform, maybe it's time to find a new career path. I mean, if she were a pizza delivery driver and could never deliver orders on time after seven years, do you think Pizza Hut would still keep her inefficient ass? Hell no. So why is it okay for her to suck at her job because she's a celeb with a pretty face?

Another thing that grinds my gears is that for being such a mediocre artist, the girl damn sure is cocky. The shenanigans she gets herself into off stage are more entertaining than what she gives on stage. With her being such a bad performer, I can't co-sign any of it though. Taking racy pics with Snoop Dogg, smoking big ass blunts, showing off "Thug Life" tattoos with your middle finger up.....girl. Fuck me? No, fuck you for putting out a new album every six months and still not being able to carry a tune. Maybe if she spent more time in the studio perfecting her craft instead of trying to be this "bad bitch," we would get better quality performances. The fact that she still hasn't, shows that she truly doesn't give a damn about her fans and because of that, I don't think I'll be spending any more of my money to support her "being pretty" and partying.


Diamondgirl said...

Lol this whole thing made me laugh. But its true. I like rihanna too but her live stage performance is lacking.

LakiSwirl said...

THIS X 10000.

I LOVE this post!!

UglyCleanBroke87 said...

@Laki thank you!

@Diamond, yeah if she would just get her performance skills up I'd be able to back her up a little more.

UglyCleanBroke87 said...

@Laki thank you!

@Diamond, yeah if she would just get her performance skills up I'd be able to back her up a little more.

Monique said...

I have always heard her live performances are a hot mess. Confired.

Kam said...

lol this is so true. She used to really irritate me but she's pretty and her songs (the studio versions) are so catchy i just let her off. But the SNL performance was as poor as ever and if I have to watch her tap her lady parts for 3 minutes to prove how sexy she is it's clear I need to find a new singer to admire. Funny post x

UglyCleanBroke87 said...

@Monique, yes what you heard is very true lol

@Kam omg I didn't even mention that part did I? The constant vag patting irked my soul too.

Freckles said...

sound like a billy goat being strangled - SAY THAT SIS!!! Honestly, I am not a fan and nor do I admire her fucker. Pretty only goes so far and her cockiness doesnt validate talent. I am over her. I will say some of those songs are hell a catchy and I have even liked a few. I am constantly pissed when I like one of those tunes. I do not buy her albums but then again there are not many artist that I support financially. I need to love and feel to part with my money.

GREAT POST SIS. Iw ill be sharing this one.

InTransition said...

There have been some Rihanna songs that I've liked, but I wouldn't call myself a "fan". Her vocals have always been subpar to me. All the house music beats are just alright to me. I'd listen to it in a club and dance to it, but considering I hardly ever go out ... I feel like she treis to have that laid back dancing style like Aaliyah had perfected. However, Aaliyah looked like she was getting it even with the slightest of movements it didn't come off as lazy or lackluster. I def. feel like she is over rated, but so are so many of the artist out right now. I'd also like to point out that I'm not feeling the crotch pat dance move. We all know where your vagina is, danc.