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Sunday, May 20, 2012

How Do You Know.....

.....If you're really depressed? I always have times when I get down and lonely, but I don't know if it's really a problem or if it's just me being in one of my emo moods.
Me getting down has been going on for some years now though. It seems like it's worse if I'm in a bad situation financially (if I have no job, no car, etc). However, this feeling rears its head even when things seem "ok" to everyone else. I have a stable job, brand new car, an apartment that's paid for, no kids, my bills are paid. But I still just feel...empty. Like I want to cry, but even that won't help.
I always say I'm going to seek counseling, but I end up procrastinating and never getting around to it. I don't have the money to pay for therapy on my own, but I don't want to go through the military for it either. Most of the people I've met in the military strike me as being really careless and messy, and I'm paranoid that my business would get out, and that would only make things worse.

6 comments:

Monsonique said...

I totally understand how you feel! I am in a position almost identical to you! I am single, 25, no kids, husband, two jobs, make my own money, minimal debt, and I am educated and well traveled. I should be on top of the world, but I am a little saddened in my heart. What is wrong? I think we have to search for what true happiness is. Let's not go by standard's society's idea that happiness means a home, husband, and 2.5 kids. Maybe true happiness is a life without any real monetary possessions at all. I am not sure what it will take, but I know for a fact, you will be fine dear. I believe it is the single lady blues. We all get it. Trust me, it has to subside or else every single woman I know (many) would be in therapy. I am here if you want to talk.

UglyCleanBroke87 said...

Thanks for your comment. I don't know if what I'm feeling is the single lady blues, but I sure wish it would go away. I think what gets me down is that I have no one to talk to and when I say no one, I mean NO ONE. Some people have family to talk to if they don't have a lot of friends, or a significant other if they don't have a lot of friends or vice versa. I'm batting 0 out of 3. I don't know how things got to be this way, but it seems that the older I get, the less people I have to rely on.

UglyCleanBroke87 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Monsonique said...

I understand. You commented on my status and I accidentally deleted it. I wanted to say, spending time with yourself prepares you to leave the world of the single lady. You have to find out who you are and what you are looking for in a mate. Otherwise you will meet all kinds of people who truly mean you no good. I know what you are going through and I completely empathize with you. I guess, we gotta keep the faith and leave out hopes and dreams in the hands of GOD.

Monsonique said...

Are you on FB?

UglyCleanBroke87 said...

I am on fb...shoot me an email at uglycleanbroke87@yahoo.com and I'll send you my info.