I feel a little lame for writing about another guy I've dealt with, but considering how flaky I've been with even writing at all, I'm just going to roll with it.
So......there's this guy. He's on the same ship as I am and I met him while doing one of the ridiculously tedious jobs that get randomly assigned on my ship. It basically consisted of being part of a human "chain" to transport food items from the pier to one of the ship's lower level damn-near-impossible-to-access storerooms. To say I was not happy to be chosen to partake in this evolution would be putting it nicely. I'm toiling away, passing the boxes along and as I'm doing this I am simultaneously ignoring this guy (I'll call him Gym Rat, because he loves working out, or G.R. for short). You may ask why I was ignoring someone that I didn't even know and the reason may not make sense to anyone else, but it made (makes) perfect sense in my twisted little mind. I thought he was cute, and in my experience with cute guys in the military (or cute guys in general), they are cocky as hell and think every female that comes across their path is supposed to fall all over herself and throw her panties at him as if he is some God. They also target the women who they deem to be good enough for them while being completely disrespectful to the women they aren't attracted to. I hate men like this with a passion and ignore them to disprove their little theory and show that not all women are so easily wooed by their looks.
G.R. surprised me though. He seemed to notice that I wasn't feeling the whole food transportation spectacle, and almost immediately began to tease me about random things, in what I assumed was an attempt to distract me from the shittiness of the task at hand. He was acting as if we had known each other all our lives, and in spite of my best efforts, I couldn't help but crack a smile at his lame jokes. Once we were done, he shook my hand and said it was nice meeting me and that "hopefully" he would see me around.
After this encounter, I went on a mini-stalking spree to find out about this new guy. A friend of mine knew G.R. as well, and in true high school fashion, I requested that my friend discreetly find out if G.R. was involved with anyone. He reported back that G.R. did have a girlfriend. I was disappointed but I took it as my cue not to pursue things any further. A few short weeks later, the friend came back to me saying that G.R. had told him he was no longer in a relationship and wanted to know who was asking about him. I had already established with my friend not to reveal my identity by any means, and it seemed a little odd to me that G.R. had become unattached so quickly. I suspected maybe he was just saying that he was single to find out who his secret admirer was. In any event, I decided to keep my unrequited lust to myself.
I saw G.R. on occasion around the ship, but it was usually just a "hi and bye" kind of thing. Then I got switched to work in a different department and was subsequently sent to a different duty section. For non-military folks, duty is probably the least appealing part of being in the military. It basically consists of being "on station" for a full 24 hours, and for me, my station is a ship. Being on it for 24 hours is no fun to say the least. Duty rotates so it comes around every week or so, but that doesn't make it any more alluring when it's your turn. While standing duty one day, I happened to run into no other than G.R. I was expecting the usual small talk, but G.R. engaged me in conversation for over an hour. After talking, he offered to show me the equipment that he works on and invited me to watch movies with him. While watching movies, I don't know if I was imagining things, but I swore that G.R. kept giving me those "looks." You know, the one that someone gives you right before planting a big juicy one on you. Since I was involved with my then-boyfriend Mr. VA, I avoided those looks to the best of my ability and quickly excused myself before things got awkward.
As time went on, G.R. and I became what I guess you would call "duty buddies." We'd hang out, watch movies on his laptop, tease each other about silly things. As I said before, I was dating someone at the time, but it seemed strange to me that with all the interaction between us, G.R. had not once asked for my number. He mentioned us hanging out outside of the ship in passing, but nothing ever came of it. I was beginning to think I was a victim of the "He's Just Not that into You" movement. It didn't make much sense to me, considering that I never invited myself to hang out with G.R. Then I thought, maybe he simply chose my company due to being bored on duty days. I mentioned G.R.'s hesitation (refusal?) to ask for my number to a friend of mine, and she started in with the usual "maybe he's shy" theories, which I brushed off. How could he be shy? He wasn't shy when he was talking my head off about working on the ship, or his gym routine, or his childhood mishaps. He wasn't shy when he hugged me, or "accidentally" brushed his leg against mine, or picked me up (in spite of my many protests) to prove that he could bench press 108 pounds. I wasn't buying the shy story, but that only would leave the other option that he just didn't like me as much as I thought, which is always a hard pill to swallow.
Around this time, I broke up with Mr. VA. Not because of my infatuation with G.R., but other issues which I mentioned in the previous post. Our ship went out to sea for one of its many "sea trials," and during this time, since G.R. and I always commented on how our limited communication was partly because our workcenters were so far from each other, I came up with the bright idea to contact him through the shipboard email system. I know, I know. I'm giving myself the proverbial slap on the wrist as I'm typing this. The email conversations were okay; he was slow on the responses at times due to having a large workload and not getting much sleep (typical "He's Just Not that into You" statements). Again, he would talk about how we should hang out once we pulled back in port, but still no mention of exchanging numbers. He also revealed that his 21st birthday was around the corner, which came as a shock. I had known he was younger than I was, but not that much. 5 years??? Maybe that explained all the hemming and hawing on moving things past the initial flirtation stage. It also slowed me down a bit on even wanting to pursue things further. If he was the typical 21-year-old, there was no way he'd be looking to get into a serious, committed relationship, and I wasn't looking to be anybody's cut buddy either.
Over the past few weeks, I've seen G.R. a few times. He still flirts and jokes and does his teasing, with no movement towards socializing outside the ship. I feel like I should not respond to it but I don't know if that would come off as bitchy. At the same time, I've been the girl who's always available for a guy even when he didn't really want me and at the age of 26, I'm not trying to be that anymore.